Cast of characters

These are all real people. 

Backpack guy: sits in the lobby all day wearing his backpack, super loud and obnoxious. Constantly is on his phone, on speaker, having stupid conversations with a variety of services, restaurants or stores .

When not on his phone, is constantly yakking at people over the most obvious blather.

Always asking people if he can buy stuff for a dollar.

Once thawed a chicken carrying it in his backpack all week.

Loves cookies. Once stood on a table with his pants down eating cookies.
Chatterbox: never ever had a conversation, just talks incessantly. When you have a conversation with anyone she jumps in the middle with her stories, no matter what the conversation is. She once said, ‘i like to disagree with people and get in a good fight.’

Freeloader: Will do anything for free stuff, even constantly invites herself to dinner when she smells cooking.

Whiner: complains about everything, and says ‘i’m sorry’ 20 times an hour.

Clueless: agrees with everyone, has no thoughts of her own, has hearing aids but won’t wear them.

Creeper: his wife is wheelchair bound, and insists on thinking I’ll be his replacement wife when she dies.

This week’s cast

I was a psych major in school, so thought maybe to start viewing this as research.

I have the chatter box who just can’t stop talking no matter how much we try to chew our arms off to get away;

The attention seeking busy body who’s main excitement in life is to get free stuff, even when it’s not really all that free… As if no one notices.

The whiner who never had one positive thing ever and says ‘sorry’ for nothing.

The loud guy who likes to argue and be right (to be fair he usually is).

The loud guy who likes to feel as if he’s the most important person in the world who likes to think he’s right no matter what he makes up in his head (no, not trump, but very close to it).

The weird lady with tons of boxes lining her apartment who had a parakeet die and she put it in the bushes on a branch so she can go talk to it.

The clueless woman who is a scatterbrained chatterbox that we run to avoid.

The gross annoying loud guy who shouts at everyone who comes in or leaves commenting on anything they are doing or hold, if all else fails it’s the weather or else he wants to buy fruit from you. Yes, that’s right.

The very large talk autistic man who gets annoyed by all this and wanders the building talking and arguing. To himself. My neighbor said he speaks in tongues…

I said no, that’s math.  

He speaks in trig and quantum physics, and is quite interesting to talk to if you speak math.

The older guy who is always chasing after me informing me that he had chosen me to replace his wife when she dies. Yes, really.
The old woman who practically lives in the lobby so she can see every move and gossip about it after she’s made up in her head what the story is… And she smells of urine.
The guy next door to me with 2 cats who can’t seem to remember that they have a litter box that needs to be cleaned, and our bathrooms share a wall, he only cleans it after management makes him.

The smokers who won’t stay where they are supposed to smoke, the alcoholics and other weirdos.

I’ve tried to be nice, tried to be a bit rude, tried to ignore it all, nothing seems to be working very well.